"’d never seen anything more beautiful—even as I ran, gasping and screaming, I could appreciate that. " - Bella, New Mooon

It's been a busy summer.
I don't do the pool. For obvious reasons.
Or the zoo. Not so obvious reasons.
I pretty much hang out in the attic.
It's cool, though.
I predict a resurgence in interest come Nov. 20.
No matter how busy she may be, she can't ignore my hipbones forever...

"Hey, you just shut your nasty mouth, mister! You might be a vampire, but when you talk to me, you will talk to me like the lady that I am! " - Sookie

"Also? I am a VERY smart vampire."

Bella: "How long have you been 17?" M-A Fleury: "No, no, I am number 29! 29!"

"Who ees this 'Flat Edward' Because, the BabelBabe, she ees MINE. Back off, sparkly vampire!"


"There's no need to fight over her - you're too young for her. *I*, on the other hand, am 108. Perfect. Go away, goalieman."

"I should go back there and rip those guys' head off..."

"Who knew Evgeni Malkin and I had so much in common?
Huh."

"I don’t know how you’re brave enough to be alone with him." - Jessica , Twilight, ch. 10, p.204

I've been banished (I hope only temporarily...)

I THOUGHT I was being a good vampire. But apparently my tall, handsome, brooding, bloodthirsty presence alone is enough to scare the *&%$#!%$%* bejesus out of Val when she comes up to the third floor to quilt. Is it MY fault I am left alone all day and just want some company? I haven't been to a playdate or a party in WEEKS. It's not like I bit her or anything. I didn't even nip her! Oh Christ, NOW I sound like the dog. What's next, the shelter? From the corner to the shelter? Have I NO dignity left?

"None of the boys in town your type, eh?" - Charlie, Twilight, ch.14, p.296

Debi, darling, drink the Twilight Kool-aid. All the cool kids are doing it.

Plus, as fluffy as you insist your reading tastes are? Bella is JUST as insipid.

Oops, did I say that out loud?

"Mine is bigger." - Renesmee, Breaking Dawn, ch. 27, p.538

So I FINALLY made it to a playdate (but I would have anyway since this one was at BB's house.) I hear the lemon bars were divine, but the children looked even tastier. The mothers aren't so discriminating, though...this one tried to pawn her child off on me. She even made a joke about the child saying, "Daddy!" but come on, we both know my magic vampire penis would have killed this mere mortal. Plus, I wouldn't be interested because she doesn't smell like bacon, er, Bella.